Fame is a funny thing. One second it has you teaching tomorrow’s youth how to rape transsexuals in parking garages, and the next it has you teaching women (and possibly transsexuals) to defend themselves from said rapists. Such is the case with former UFC light heavyweight champion, Quinton Rampage Jackson, who recently posted the above flyer on the Twitter account of his fitness academy along with the following info: Rampage is giving back to the community and hosting a free self defense seminar for women on March 28th. Who wants to bet that Page’s first bit of sage-like defense advice will be to purchase a pair of his patented anti-rape shoes? After staring at a pair for over an hour at my local Foot Locker the other day, I’ve determined that the only possibly explanation for the millipede-like protrusions on the underside of those things is that they act like some sort of Inspector Gadget spring device when someone is cornered. Or being raped. So ladies, how many of you are ready to let the man who put the sex in sexual assault teach you how to avoid being a victim? -J. Jones