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Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

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Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby PainDog » Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:54 am

Now, for some reason people are inclined to believe that Darth Vader is some sort of bad ass.

I am wondering to this day on what basis he has obtained this reputation.

Now, whatever they have had Darth Vader do in the various comics and books doesnt matter, as everyone who has touched upon the lore has said only the films truly matter.

So we much judge Darth Vader based upon what he has done over the course of 6 movies. In these 6 movies I think only one of them show him to be a bad ass...and even in it (Empire Strikes Back) he is just killing regular people and beating up an under trained Luke.

Star Wars: A New Hope - Vader battles Obi Wan, in what is truly a pathetic battle and in which Obi Wan stands there and lets Vader chop him...and of course Obi Wan vanishes into the force. Outside of this the only thing he does is take orders from Grand Moff Tarkin and get out piloted by Han Solo...both of which get negative points in the bad ass meter in my opinion....

Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back - Finally, Vader is cool as hell killing admirals that fail him, beating down Luke...he is ruthless and awesome. As this is Vader's finest showing it is also in my opinion the finest Star Wars movie. With that said...like I mentioned earlier he still was just killing regular hombres and beating the hell out of Luke who only had like 2 weeks of training...

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi - Vader sucks ass in this movie. He gets owned by Luke, and even though he manages to drop the Emperor down a hole...he did so coming in with a surprise attack from the back, and the 7 seconds he took the force lightning was enough to kill his ass. Luke not only beat the hell out of Darth Vader he also took about 700 times the amount of force lightning and was still standing around like it really wasnt a big deal. Worst of all they remastered the movie and where as Yoda and Obi Wan's ghosts are of the elder Jedi Masters....Darth Vader's is a padawan Anakin...how lame must you be, to be turned into a padawan after you die.

Star Wars:the Phantom Menace - We see Darth Vader as a child...and well he is perhaps the most unlikeable child as a lead character in all of movie history. He is perhaps the least likable character in a movie filled unlikeable characters....

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones- Now Anakin is a bit older but just as unlikeable as he was when he was a child. He does nothing but bitch the entire movie, has the worst hair cut imaginable, and gets owned by Christopher Lee badly...

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith- Anakin is finally at his climax in coolness of the films documenting his younger life. He is not as scrawny as before, lost his dumb ass padawan hair cut...and you could almost say he is cool....
However, he still bitches a lot, and while he does own Christopher Lee.....Obi Wan owns him badly leaving him burnt and missing his arms and legs. Now, they tried to do some absurd logic thing with Obi Wan having the high ground...why that matters in a fight where they have flown up and down mountains....is beyond me....regardless Obi Wan owns his ass.
Outside of that the only people with the force we actually know he kills are some kids....we see Storm Troopers killing adult Jedi and Anakin taking out the children....
So, being owned by Obi Wan...killing an old man and a bunch of kids....I still not seeing how it makes him a bad ass. The dialogue/acting is still pretty bad...and though he bitches less...he still bitches a hell of a lot.
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby DildoBaggins » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:28 pm

Problem is, I think they always had to tone it down cause they wanted everything to be PG-13 (more ticket sales). For other things like Han saving the day or whatever, it was more of a surprise attack and he's suppose to be a pretty good pilot himself. Basically they needed him to do something useful so he wasn't just the guy that took people from point A to point B and went pew pew with his gun against Storm Troopers (whose guns shoot in crazy, fucked up angles lol).

While Anakin was in the Jedi Temple, he most likely would have come across some Knights and Masters as well. For some reason they didn't think it was screen worthy though :roll: . I's probably safe to say that the majority of his badassness was left off-screen.

I'll agree that they probably failed in the representation of Vader. There could have been more legitimate battles with "quality" opponents, but by the time movies 4, 5, and 6 were made, the Jedi were near extinct and people like Boba Fett were employed by the empire.

Anyway, that's just my take on it.
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby jethro_static » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:32 pm

darth vader is Fedor's bitch
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby thegroovemonkey » Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:09 pm

So he got out flown by Indiana Jones. Jones has pulled every trick in the book out on people, their is no shame in being bested by The Man.

Everyone knows that between episodes 3 and 4, something happened in the force that made light saber battles really lame.

He can choke people without touching them. Anderson Silva is the only other man to TKO a guy without touching him(Cote). I'd say that's pretty good.

He did seem a little emo in episodes 2/3. But that's what the kids relate to these days.

He has the voice of James Earl Jones, instant +10,000 in Bad Ass Points.

If Luke wasn't his kid he would have smited him too, plus he killed the greatest Sith Lord ever with his bare hands. By Forcemath Darth Vader> Lord Sidious
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby Edro_ownage » Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:31 pm

yea i never understood why vader was considered to be so awesome. hes kinda douchy imo except the mufasa voice. hes like a boxer that pads his record lol, the real badasses are the ewoks
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby sosohammy » Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:58 pm

What kills me about revenge of the sisth is how the fuck can a dude who can move shit with his mind and choke people to death with the force just allow him self to get burnt the fuck up by lava...You'd think he would use the force to move himself out of that shit....ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby supermanpunch » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:21 pm

Edro_ownage wrote:yea i never understood why vader was considered to be so awesome. hes kinda douchy imo except the mufasa voice. hes like a boxer that pads his record lol, the real badasses are the ewoks

Yeah hi-tech military warfare got owned by fucking tree-huger midgets. The prequels didn't really help too, they just made Anakin look like a whining bitch. :lol: I'm a big Star Wars fan though, I didn't like Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith but the first 3 and Phantom Menace is the bomb though.
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby WandyCroCop » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:10 pm

.....i dont watch star-wars :|
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby Mr.Ultimate » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:22 pm

If that grinds your gears, then tell me this: Why is the technology in 1,2 and 3 far more superior than the technology in 4, 5 and 6 (within the confines of the story)?
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby groundzero » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:40 pm

sam jackson is the real bad ass
make me a sig!
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby CriminalCarnage » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:42 pm

i bet you wont say that to his face
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby carson2121 » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:44 pm

everyone knows the real badass is obi wan
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby bjsea » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:53 pm

no, I agree with Paindog, Yoda is the real badass
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby DildoBaggins » Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:33 pm

Mr.Ultimate wrote:If that grinds your gears, then tell me this: Why is the technology in 1,2 and 3 far more superior than the technology in 4, 5 and 6 (within the confines of the story)?


Lol I noticed this too, but it's pretty obvious why.
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Re: Why Darth Vader is a bitch....

Postby Shaka Zulu » Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:42 pm

mma-elo has him ranked #3 p4p :shock:
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