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A tale of GOATs gone wrong

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A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby Fyodor » Tue Apr 06, 2021 3:22 pm

Once upon a Time, there was a bald baby that was born & his name wasn't baby Jesus.His family name was Penn and his name was Baby Jay Penn,AKA - BJ Penn.

That glorious night,there was a bright purple star,in the sky,that could be seen,mirroring in the baby GOATs eyes.

I must say, such impressive and grant of a star,that was,that even though,thy hero was in Hawai... another 'baby', at the time..

The so called 'George Phenomenon', was also able to see that Purple Star(Canada) ..

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And when one would look at that baby, the star could be seen, as it was mirroring in his eyes as well.

One baby is phat and unmotivated and eats pizzas all day.... (hawai)

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While the other baby is doing push ups,shooting up baby steroids and practices safe greasing, in his spare time. (Canada)..


Inside the Puple Star there is a big surprise.... Not as big as the star...but big enough.... This star aint no star ,it's an ALIEN's Spaceship. . .. Aliens with advanced technology that would make Earth's technology, of today, look like cavemen situation .



What were they trying to do..? . ..


Year 1982.


Phattie Mcphatson is 3 years old - 180 pounds and doenst feel motivated enough to start walking... Rolling around like a huge medicine ball,filled with fat and grease, barely more than 3 feet,is a true specimen and his whole family knows that this little dude will be an entrepreneur ,by the end of the 6th year of his life.

Curious George is just about ready to exit his mother's spacecraft and see the light and breath oxygen, for the first time. His mother was crying and complaining for the whole 8 hours that the miracle of birth took place. George wouldnt move a fucking inch. He had assumed side control on her liver and was laying there,trying to edge a decision. Suddenly the doctor realised that there is no point in waiting for this little dude. They had to open St Pierre's mother's belly up. George would be dragged out..5 mins later - Rush is out.

"I am not impressed by your performance, Mother.' I respect you, but next time I get inside you, I am never coming out.''

After that line...everyone knew this dude was special. ....

EVEN THE ALIENS .. . .


Year 1994 and BJ 'No Motivation' Penn is 16. He is at an all time low. 4 feet and weighing around 250 pounds. People are calling him 'flash' though... no..he aint fast.. He just never flushes.... He always takes these huge shits and he never flushes the fucking toilete.. He keeps forgeting. Some people say that BJ has all the tools to flush the fucking toilete,but it seems like he aint motivated enough,perhaps cause deep inside he knows...that if he really wanted to..and he gets like proper potty training..he can definitely flush the toilete succesfuly, perhaps more than one toilete, at a time... any brand,any weight class..

His father noticed the lack of motivation,one morning,when he used the toilete str8 after BJ...

'BJ's dad' : Yo BJJ..,de fuck dude..?I thought u were a warrior... You don't even flush the toilete,little dude..?

BJ' : Yo Paps,since you know what's up.

"For any question,go to BJPENN.com"

BJ's mother' : Honey...What's wrong with out little one?He looks like a fag,he dresses like a fag and his shit is all retarded.We need to do something.


BJ's DAD: I'll buy him a motorbike..that way, he can train and also have the help from thy engine.

Mom: Just buy this lazy bum a motorcycle. I mean - unmotivated. Our dear little BJ aint no bum. he just lacks motivation...

BJ overhears....What's that about getting me a bike,yo?For real?U gonna givez us a motorcycle?

THATS TITS, phat BJ,says..

Next day they go to the dealer shop and they bought a four wheeler for BJ,as no vehicle with 2 tyres was safe for his phat ass.

2 weeks down the road,so like 15 days after thy obtaining of thy bike....

BJ had a horrible accident....

While chasing an Ice cream van...he crashed his vehicle with a Giant Robot - motivational speaker.

Robot - Bike & BJ have almost become one... Thank god dude was phat,so they cut him up a bit and took him to the hospital.

10 days later he gets hooked off life support...

3 months later he is motivated as fuck and shreded so people start calling him Baby Jay, instead of Phat Abbott.

2-3 years, down the road and he is the world champ...


In a place faaar - faaar away from BJ.... we have another champ... St Pierre.. .


March 4 Year 2006

BJ gets robbed. George gets to fight Matt Hughes and knocks him out,to avenge, his loss.

It is now more than obvious that the aliens have picked the George as their specimen,as BJ was deemed to be too talented and prone to feeling super unmotivated.

Fastforward to 2020, BJ fights at bars,while St Pierre is a double champ.


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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby warriorxv » Tue Apr 06, 2021 4:36 pm

Won’t read, can someone sum this up in 1 or 2 sentences?
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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby Fyodor » Tue Apr 06, 2021 5:03 pm

warriorxv wrote:Won’t read, can someone sum this up in 1 or 2 sentences?



So sad. :lol:
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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby philphan » Tue Apr 06, 2021 6:27 pm

warriorxv wrote:Won’t read, can someone sum this up in 1 or 2 sentences?

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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby JACKnoneREACHER » Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:47 pm

warriorxv wrote:Won’t read, can someone sum this up in 1 or 2 sentences?

:lol:

Bj penn was born to be great under the glow of a purple star. Later on he fought a greasy french canadian.
:beer:
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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby philphan » Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:50 pm

JACKnoneREACHER wrote:
warriorxv wrote:Won’t read, can someone sum this up in 1 or 2 sentences?

:lol:

Bj penn was born to be great under the glow of a purple star. Later on he fought a greasy french canadian.
:beer:

:tup: :tup: :lol: :lol:
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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby JACKnoneREACHER » Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:52 pm

Im going to try again in case i missed the point

Fattie mcphatson was 3 years old once. He tthen took big shits and refused to flush em.
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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby JACKnoneREACHER » Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:54 pm

Motorbike. Aliens.
:beer:
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Re: A tale of GOATs gone wrong

Postby philphan » Wed Apr 07, 2021 1:11 pm

JACKnoneREACHER wrote:Im going to try again in case i missed the point

Fattie mcphatson was 3 years old once. He tthen took big shits and refused to flush em.

:shock: :lol: :gold:
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