Close
Login
Register

Fifty Shades of CM Punk

UFC, Bellator, Invicta, M-1, One FC, KSW, World Series of Fighting, and many more

Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby DanQuinnsKnockoutJab » Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:36 pm

Image

CM Punk famously dropped the "Pipe Bomb" a few years before leaving the WWE. It now seems obvious that he picked it backup on his exit from the WWE and re-purposed it so he could smoke his Pipe Dream of being a UFC fighter. When CM punk piped up about his insatiable yearning, the UFC was happy to indulge the former pro wrestler.

Dana White readily binged on hopium with CM Punk because it would be profitable to the UFC. For one WWE fans would pay to see their once vaulted champion fight UFC. Secondly, UFC fighters could build their names off beating CM Punk ie. "the rub"

The first one to rub off Cm Punk's pipe was a young Mickey Gall who went down on Punk in a minute and then went balls out; totally fucking CM Punk in the ass. It wasn't a stroke of genius that Dana White had, but rather basic promoting, when he cast a young up and cummer against the more established opponent in a mismatch. After his first loss, CM Punk was left there stroking his pipe as the long and hard reality of the situation came to a head, and it made him gag to think of it.

But thats what happens with life sometimes and the lessons it wants to teach you. The pipe you once held in your hand is thrust into your throat, over and over and over, till your eyes tear with agony and humiliation. Till your mouth is full of brackish creme of mushroom soup. But Punk is a masochist and he went back for more. He wanted more creme of mushroom soup with extra salt.

Life brought a long Michael Jackson, to show Punk who is really bad, schmon. This light skinned brother had all the right moves in the cage. Stuffing Punk at will, jabbing his throat, all while taunting his ass. By the end of the night Punk was left looking like a two-dollar whore who had earned 500,000 dollars in a single night. Used up, worn out, fucked hard, and finally free.

We all watched this hardcore scene but only CM punk really drank fully from the mushroom soup cock of life.
User avatar
DanQuinnsKnockoutJab
9th Degree Black Belt
9th Degree Black Belt
 
Posts: 7563
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:45 pm
Location: Watching Two Ed Hermans Go At It

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby EvilGorilla69+1 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:47 pm

Nice. I believe that CM Punk had a good go.. Obviously he hasn't had the time to be able to use his new arsenal.. but if he carries on being dedicated in 2+ more years, he should be able to beat a scrub.

If I was him I'd 'retire' and have a few amateur bouts. Then fight in the regional circuit and 3+ years later have a second go at the UFC. if he starts now it is doable.
Image


''Double wrist lock,to an americana, switched to kimura,turned to figure 4,transitioning to an armbar.
while attemting an Ude-garami, & a keylock.. opponent escapes so switch to Gyaku ude-garami and a reverse keylock and get that: 'bent armlock',like a V1 armlock,a chicken wing,a some sort of paintbrush submission attempt or hammerlock or a twisting hammerlock and you win by reverse arm entanglement
''

https://notouchbutt.blogspot.gr/
User avatar
EvilGorilla69+1
3rd Degree Black Belt
3rd Degree Black Belt
 
Posts: 3656
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2017 12:38 am

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby DeceptaCon » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:17 pm

Cody McKenzie would murk this fool.
Spoiler:
I tricked you
Spoiler:
Gfycat Video - Click to Play

Are you ready for the last great deception?
User avatar
DeceptaCon
7th Professional Linker Victory
7th Professional Linker Victory
 
Posts: 14863
Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2015 9:33 pm
Location: Stalking Ker in the Mall of Germany
Accolades: Pillar of Linker
Feb. 2016 MMALinker Fantasy C-League Champion, Sep. 2016 MMALinker Fantasy C-League Champion, Apr. 2018 MMALinker Fantasy C-League Champion

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby 1098765432 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:37 pm

I mean just look at that mushroom drinking pic of him, and they say you can't judge a book by its cover.One look and you can tell he can't fight but can gobble the cock pipe with the best of them.
No respect here.He shouldn't have even been paid
User avatar
1098765432
5th Degree Black Belt
5th Degree Black Belt
 
Posts: 4539
Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:57 pm

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby jblaze » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:37 pm

I honestly thought he at least had some jujitsu. His striking looked terrible . It was like watching an aging yuppie from Chicago try to fight in the UFC. I was also surprised how unathletic he was, He didn't quit and almost won the first round so he does have some heart I guess.
jblaze
Red Belt
Red Belt
 
Posts: 2310
Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:46 am

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby JTuck34 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:42 pm

It looked like one of us in there trying to fight
7-3
User avatar
JTuck34
Linker's resident psychoactive chemical expert
Linker's resident psychoactive chemical expert
 
Posts: 7068
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:53 am
Location: The great state of Texas

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby AR15 guy » Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:46 pm

Fuck let me fight him, I fought in the Tough Man once, I’m a purple belt in karate under Danny Lane, and did Jitz for about a year. I might be the betting favorite in that match...
AR15 guy
Green Belt
Green Belt
 
Posts: 800
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:11 am

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby PainDog » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:59 am

He was surprisingly bad, when you consider that he has never been training with elite coaches for several years.


Rogan sums it up quite accurately with Joe Schilling and Daniel Straus


Punk claims to be a better grappler than Leaner :lol:
Image
Murtaza Talha Ali

Khabib Time

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
— Viktor E. Frankl
User avatar
PainDog
Mod Emeritus
 
Posts: 8241
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:10 am
Location: Doha, Qatar
Accolades: Nov. 2017 MMALinker Fantasy B-League Champion, Dec. 2017 MMALinker Fantasy A-League Champion, Apr. 2018 MMALinker Fantasy A-League Champion

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby Mummra » Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:51 am

People are being really hard on the guy..I mean CM PUNK MADE WEIGHT!.He might have lost some pop to his punches due to fatigue he looked better hitting mits prior to the fight ..hehehe..anyway. He tried some jujitsu and looked to know what he was attempting from in the guard but didn't have the resilience or durability to press through the bolo punches from above but he tried and even threw from the bottom. Joe I like you but why don't you got get in there?
User avatar
Mummra
2nd Degree Black Belt
2nd Degree Black Belt
 
Posts: 3036
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby Mummra » Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:52 am

AR15 guy wrote:Fuck let me fight him, I fought in the Tough Man once, I’m a purple belt in karate under Danny Lane, and did Jitz for about a year. I might be the betting favorite in that match...


hehehe i'd have to cut over 70 lbs to fight that guy..
User avatar
Mummra
2nd Degree Black Belt
2nd Degree Black Belt
 
Posts: 3036
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby AR15 guy » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:07 pm

Mummra wrote:
AR15 guy wrote:Fuck let me fight him, I fought in the Tough Man once, I’m a purple belt in karate under Danny Lane, and did Jitz for about a year. I might be the betting favorite in that match...


hehehe i'd have to cut over 70 lbs to fight that guy..


I’m a buck 80 out of shape, I’ll just start doing cardio and fight him at 170lbs and not cut an oz. my only physical gift is that I’m strong for a 170lber, other than that we will both have dad bods and be stiff as shit.
AR15 guy
Green Belt
Green Belt
 
Posts: 800
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:11 am

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby EvilGorilla69+1 » Sun Jun 17, 2018 3:50 am

i think any linker that has trained for at least 5+ years, in almost any combat form, would school CM Punk and it wouldn't even be close. Anyway..

The delusion continues, ladies and genltemen.

You lose some, you win some...



ormer WWE superstar CM Punk summed up his loss at UFC 225 by looking at the bigger picture.

Earlier last week, Punk came out on top of a lawsuit against him and another pro wrestler. A few days later, though, he was dominated by Mike Jackson in Chicago, falling to 0-2 in his MMA career.


“You win some, you lose some! I’m 1-1 this week and I’ll take it!” Punk posted. “Thanks to my team, my family, my friends, and THE FANS! Wouldn’t be here without any of you.

“Respect to (Jackson), thanks for the fight! You only live once, and… I’M ALIVE!”
Image


''Double wrist lock,to an americana, switched to kimura,turned to figure 4,transitioning to an armbar.
while attemting an Ude-garami, & a keylock.. opponent escapes so switch to Gyaku ude-garami and a reverse keylock and get that: 'bent armlock',like a V1 armlock,a chicken wing,a some sort of paintbrush submission attempt or hammerlock or a twisting hammerlock and you win by reverse arm entanglement
''

https://notouchbutt.blogspot.gr/
User avatar
EvilGorilla69+1
3rd Degree Black Belt
3rd Degree Black Belt
 
Posts: 3656
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2017 12:38 am

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby bruins2012 » Sun Jun 17, 2018 8:55 am

He should go to the All In show with Cody Rhodes. His straight-edge wrasslin ain’t working in mma .
When engaged in combat, the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God or Buddha himself.

Image
User avatar
bruins2012
10th Professional Linker Victory
10th Professional Linker Victory
 
Posts: 17227
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:08 pm
Accolades: 2014-2015 MMALinker Fantasy Hockey Champion, 2015-2016 MMALinker Fantasy Hockey Champion, July 2016 MMALinker Fantasy C-League Champion, Aug. 2016 MMALinker Fantasy B-League Champion, May 2017 MMALinker Fantasy B-League Champion, Sep. 2017 MMALinker Fantasy B-League Champion, Apr. 2018 MMALinker Fantasy B-League Champion

Re: Fifty Shades of CM Punk

Postby DeceptaCon » Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:29 pm

Very prophetic words from a younger Nate.



Spoiler:
"He got that little nose, he got that little nose, did you see it, that things a virgin, someone is going to bust that thing" :lol: :lol:
Spoiler:
Gfycat Video - Click to Play

Are you ready for the last great deception?
User avatar
DeceptaCon
7th Professional Linker Victory
7th Professional Linker Victory
 
Posts: 14863
Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2015 9:33 pm
Location: Stalking Ker in the Mall of Germany
Accolades: Pillar of Linker
Feb. 2016 MMALinker Fantasy C-League Champion, Sep. 2016 MMALinker Fantasy C-League Champion, Apr. 2018 MMALinker Fantasy C-League Champion


Return to MMA Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot]