Tom Petty was right, the waiting is the hardest part. But the wait is almost over. You have emerged from the depths of Stary Oskol and are ready to participate in the 45th fight of your illustrious career.
It’s hard to believe 44 fights have come and gone. It feels like we’ve seen it all. This next one will be the finals of the greatest tournament on the planet and your opponent is the young playboy Ryan Bader. He likes to wrestle and bump and grind. Luckily you know exactly what to do with this type of fighter; knock his fucking head out of the arena, drop some fat beats on the mic, collect your money from Cokehead, and head home to the wilderness for a steam and shave.
It’s unfortunate Gegard couldn’t be on this card with you, but there will be many interesting fights to make up for not getting to play pranks on him. Young Pico is fighting Henry “not Diego” Corrales, AJ Azgabar will be making his debut, and various others. There will be no shortage of fun in the lead-up to the main dish. Hopefully everyone has good fights.
We love you sweet Fedor. We will keep crawling back to you for reassurance that greatness still exists in the world.