by AverageWhiteMale » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:11 pm
‘UFC IS GAY:’ DANA WHITE
UFC President Dana White shocked fans yesterday by announcing that the UFC is gay. White convened an open press conference at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, ahead of UFC 152 in Toronto.
‘It’s been a rumor for some time but I can now confirm that yeah, the fuckin’ UFC is gay,’ said the former boxercise coach. ‘You know, I’ve been running this thing (gayness) around in my head for a while,’ said the burly, but well-maintained 43-year-old, ‘but just thought this was the right time. People should know what the UFC is about.’
When asked what exactly prompted the announcement, White, wearing a casual but demure silk scarf and pink V-neck tee responded quizzically: ‘look, I grew up in Las Vegas, Boston, you know, and it’s not fuckin’ easy.’
White, currently promoting the reworked Jones-Belfort title fight on September 22nd appeared visibly tired. Making the fight has been a major headache for the UFC and Dana White – culminating in the cancellation of UFC 151 – the first time in UFC history that an event has been cancelled.
‘It’s been difficult. These guys all say they want to fight each other and they don’t want to fight each other. They say one thing and do the other. I don’t fuckin’ get it. You’re in front of millions of fans and you get to go inside the octagon – just you and another man – well, two men, if we include the ref… (which) is even better, in a way. I’d jump at that. I’d be all over that. I don’t get it.’
While the press conference went for the most part without incident, security ejected a number of fans from the Conference Center who threw UFC paraphernalia at the UFC boss including baseball caps, tee-shirts, and scented oils.
White, however, maintained his composure and laughed off the incident: ‘hey – it is what it is, am I right?’
The UFC President was soon on the defensive, however, when asked specifically what it was that made the UFC gay.
‘Rear-naked choke? Hello? Full mount? Have you fuckin’ guys ever watched an MMA fight? Rear mount? REAR FUCKIN’ MOUNT?’ Jesus motherlovin’ Christ – do you know what happens when you get a guy in a triangle choke – you’ve got your balls in his mouth.’
The UFC boss also took the time to put to bed any rumors of women fighting in the UFC. ‘Not on my watch. That shit’s disgusting.’
ENDS
Last edited by
AverageWhiteMale on Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
'We're throwin' spinnin' shit now?'