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'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

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'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby AverageWhiteMale » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:11 pm

‘UFC IS GAY:’ DANA WHITE

UFC President Dana White shocked fans yesterday by announcing that the UFC is gay. White convened an open press conference at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, ahead of UFC 152 in Toronto.
‘It’s been a rumor for some time but I can now confirm that yeah, the fuckin’ UFC is gay,’ said the former boxercise coach. ‘You know, I’ve been running this thing (gayness) around in my head for a while,’ said the burly, but well-maintained 43-year-old, ‘but just thought this was the right time. People should know what the UFC is about.’

When asked what exactly prompted the announcement, White, wearing a casual but demure silk scarf and pink V-neck tee responded quizzically: ‘look, I grew up in Las Vegas, Boston, you know, and it’s not fuckin’ easy.’

White, currently promoting the reworked Jones-Belfort title fight on September 22nd appeared visibly tired. Making the fight has been a major headache for the UFC and Dana White – culminating in the cancellation of UFC 151 – the first time in UFC history that an event has been cancelled.

‘It’s been difficult. These guys all say they want to fight each other and they don’t want to fight each other. They say one thing and do the other. I don’t fuckin’ get it. You’re in front of millions of fans and you get to go inside the octagon – just you and another man – well, two men, if we include the ref… (which) is even better, in a way. I’d jump at that. I’d be all over that. I don’t get it.’

While the press conference went for the most part without incident, security ejected a number of fans from the Conference Center who threw UFC paraphernalia at the UFC boss including baseball caps, tee-shirts, and scented oils.
White, however, maintained his composure and laughed off the incident: ‘hey – it is what it is, am I right?’

The UFC President was soon on the defensive, however, when asked specifically what it was that made the UFC gay.
‘Rear-naked choke? Hello? Full mount? Have you fuckin’ guys ever watched an MMA fight? Rear mount? REAR FUCKIN’ MOUNT?’ Jesus motherlovin’ Christ – do you know what happens when you get a guy in a triangle choke – you’ve got your balls in his mouth.’

The UFC boss also took the time to put to bed any rumors of women fighting in the UFC. ‘Not on my watch. That shit’s disgusting.’

ENDS
Last edited by AverageWhiteMale on Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby DreadLobster » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:22 pm

:lol:

60 views and not one reply? You've rendered them speechless.
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby incubusdrivenlife » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:22 pm

Not sure if serious or trolling
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby damnsmooth » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:25 pm

DreadLobster wrote::lol:

60 views and not one reply? You've rendered them speechless.

i was workin' on it.... out here in hawaii it is a bit slow due to the time.

this is the biggest.... baddest..... most blatant...... psychologically telling troll ever!!!! it is a glimpse into the ops mind. such a gay mind.....
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby DanyeWest » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:27 pm

lol, well maintained BWAHAHAHA
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby MuayCrim » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:27 pm

Just another good reason on how we can confirm that Big Nog is indeed a homo.
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby doyousukadaweena » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:30 pm

I enjoyed the read. No homo.
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby irishmike357 » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:31 pm

lmao. Nice article.


Satire =/= trolling
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby BigSexy » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:44 pm

:lol: good stuff
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby Ronin » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:50 pm

first off, Dana would never say "UFC is Gay" without the word "Fucking" in it

second, the only thing gay about The UFC is GSP and Jon Fitch, so since UFC 87 had them fighting each other, that makes that event very Gay.
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby MuayCrim » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:52 pm

Ronin wrote:first off, Dana would never say "UFC is Gay" without the word "Fucking" in it

second, the only thing gay about The UFC is GSP and Jon Fitch, so since UFC 87 had them fighting each other, that makes that event very Gay.

I watched that live and in person and there was nothing gay about GSP smashing Fitch's ass all over the Octagon.



wait what?
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby ParliamentFunk » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:59 pm

AverageWhiteMale wrote:‘UFC IS GAY:’ DANA WHITE

UFC President Dana White shocked fans yesterday by announcing that the UFC is gay. White convened an open press conference at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, ahead of UFC 152 in Toronto.
‘It’s been a rumor for some time but I can now confirm that yeah, the fuckin’ UFC is gay,’ said the former boxercise coach. ‘You know, I’ve been running this thing (gayness) around in my head for a while,’ said the burly, but well-maintained 43-year-old, ‘but just thought this was the right time. People should know what the UFC is about.’



this where you lost me, i was all like .....wait a minute
Last edited by ParliamentFunk on Mon Sep 10, 2012 8:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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17-11

Duke sucks...they are like the gsp of bball but gayer if that's possible...I do enjoy watching there games just to laugh at the cameron crazies because its always random asian dudes and god ugly bitches

Fuck duke

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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby Wsilvathegreat » Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:11 pm

ok that makes sense
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby big matty » Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:17 pm

This is awesome
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Re: 'UFC IS GAY:' DANA WHITE

Postby 505MMA » Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:21 pm

The Onion?
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