MMA Linker

[DreadLobster]

Yahoo Sports' Kevin Iole reports:

Former UFC Heavyweight Champion Mark Coleman, age 48, recently announced his retirement due to hip replacement surgery.

At an impromptu press conference in Las Vegas this morning, a tearful Dana White took the stage.



"To be honest, some of these guys don't know when to stop. I mean, its not my place to tell them. But you see these guys getting older, and its just bad news. They need to think about the future more. They don't plan ahead when they're young. To tell the truth, the day he left the UFC we knew this was coming. These guys go fight in other smaller promotions, just cashing in on a fuckin' name. You end your career getting finished 8 times, like all by fuckin' knockout... it's just sad man.

It's always tough when the sport loses such a legend though, I mean, this guy's done it all. Of course our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and loved ones."


Pictured: loved ones.

One confused reporter cited that Coleman's last fight was in fact in the UFC, and that he'd only been knocked out twice.

"What? That's insane." Dana fired back. "The guy was fighting all over. Japan, Europe. Listen: We don't allow that shit in the UFC, I mean, unless the fighter was British. Our guys' health always comes first. But he was a grown man, I mean what can you do. He didn't fight for us since like '96."

More confused reporters tried to speak up, while another UFC official whispered something in Dana's ear.

"Huh? Oh shit." A flustered White mumbled. "Who?"

"Do you even know who Mark Coleman is?" interjected Yahoo's own Dave Meltzer.

Before placing a hand over the microphone, a visibly annoyed Dana lashed out at his staff, ignoring questions from reporters. "Retired? I thought that guy fuckin' died like 6 years ago! Son of a bitch."



After several extremely tense and awkward minutes, White composed himself and turned his attention back to the crowd. "Yeah. You... What?"

A reporter asked Dana about Coleman's disappointing last fight in the promotion, against fellow UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture, in early 2010.

Interrupting, Dana responded "Are you fuckin' high? Why the... the fuck would we put [Mark] Coleman against Randy Couture in 2010? That's the craziest fuckin' thing I've ever heard. Unbelievable."




Ariel Helwani, of MMAfighting.com, started to say something, but wisely didn't, as Dana banned several more reporters from future UFC press conferences before leaving the stage.

[Brian12817]

"Retired? I thought that guy fuckin' died like 6 years ago! Son of a bitch." - Dana White

[Spiderman]

did this really happen? if it did, Dana's the one with the fucked up head, and it hasn't been hit in years... i'm sure he has a lot on his plate, but even I remember colemans fights against shogun and couture... weren't this his last two?

[tron8]

Lmfao.

UFC press conferences are starting to get more wild.....from

"Listen you uneducated fool...."

now to Dana not remembering who the fuck Coleman is lulz..

[duvalfan]

did this really happen? if it did, Dana's the one with the fucked up head, and it hasn't been hit in years... i'm sure he has a lot on his plate, but even I remember colemans fights against shogun and couture... weren't this his last two?

It happened in his dream last night

[DannyRocktown]

lole

[AverageWhiteMale]

Nice on - v good.

[Mr.Ultimate]

I see what you did there..Dana.

[brantly04]

This seems fake.

[zdragon21]

I thought this was real until I was about half way through.

[DannyRocktown]

This seems fake.

Totally legit.

[tron8]

If i've been trolled then fuck you!!!!!!!!

[duvalfan]

Classic with the pic of Gary Goodridge in the background!

[DannyRocktown]

If i've been trolled then fuck you!!!!!!!!

What is a trolled?
Reported.

[ashton]

I love when a parody is way over the top, and yet so close to the truth, that people aren't sure whether it's real.