(Less a drunk, more a prophet.) While I will normally attest that anyone who gets involved in a fight at a UFC event deserves everything they have coming to them, this might be a little extreme (via WinnipegSun): No charges will be laid as a result of a fight in the stands between two men during the UFC 161 event at MTS Centre on Saturday night, police said Monday. One man involved reportedly laid unconscious in the pool of his own blood for about 15 minutes. He was taken to hospital for treatment and was released, police said. Police said they did interview another man involved in the fight. “It‘s just one of those things ”” it just sounds like two guys fighting at UFC,” said Winnipeg police spokesman Const. Eric Hofley. There were no other incidents related to the UFC event that night. I’m glad Constable Hofley was around to clear things up. At first I thought the article was just referring to the bloodbath that was Sam Stout vs. James Krause, but upon hearing that it was just one of those things where guys fight at UFC, I can rest assured knowing the MTS Centre staff and security did everything within their power to ensure a quick and expedient rescue for the poor bastard who was stewing in his own blood. If we are to take one positive thing away from this story, however, it’s that Winnipeg has apparently yet to be affected by the smartphone trend currently turning American youth into an army of mechanized dullards. For if they were technologically up to speed, we would have surely seen half a dozen videos of the fight in question with the caption LOLBATH AT WINNY, #DURP #PRAY4WEEZY uploaded by now. -J. Jones